In Canada, people suffering from a grievous and irremediable illness or physical disability and whose condition is deteriorating have the right to request medical assistance in dying (MAID). Is your loved one in this situation? Have they shared their wishes with you?
Despite the initial shock, you will surely want to offer this person your support. Let’s take a look at your role in all of this.
Your loved one’s decision to request MAID is theirs and theirs alone. Family members do not have the right to refuse such a request.
Your role is therefore to support this person by being present, respectful, understanding and caring throughout the entire process. Such support can be given for both procedural tasks (paperwork, forms, appointments, preparations, etc.) and on an emotional level.
Here are some actions and attitudes that can help you better support your loved one during their last moments:
It’s normal to feel worried, sad, angry and disconcerted. Take the time needed to experience these emotions in order to come to terms with them. Never hesitate to reach out for help during this difficult time. To be able to take care of your loved one, you must take care of yourself.
An important step toward understanding your loved one’s decision and helping them is learning about MAID.
There are many resources available. For example, you can download this introductory pamphlet to become more familiar with the procedure.
MAID has been legal in Canada since 2016. People suffering from severe illness are thus able to die with dignity, when they choose. That said, it remains a closely regulated and monitored procedure.
If your loved one is ill and wishes to put an end to their suffering by requesting MAID, they must first meet a series of strict eligibility criteria.
They must:
Consent to receive MAID cannot be given in advance through power of attorney or any other means. The person must be able to make an informed decision. As such, people suffering from a neurocognitive illness such as Alzheimer’s are currently not eligible to receive MAID if their state of consciousness does not allow them to give their consent.
However, a legislative bill that would allow such people to make an advanced request is expected.
To receive MAID, your loved one will have to follow a series of steps. You can accompany them through these steps if they wish to have your support.
It’s a highly emotional experience both for you and your loved one. Remember that your loved one wishes to have a say in how they will live their last moments. This is often why people choose MAID.
Your role is to provide a caring presence with respect and understanding.
Here are the main steps involved.
Your loved one must first tell their doctor (verbally) that they wish to receive MAID. It must be a formal request.
Once the verbal request is made, they must complete the MAID form they will receive.
This form will validate the person’s eligibility.
Once completed, the form must be signed in the presence of a health professional, who must also sign the form.
The form must also be signed by an independent, unbiased witness (such witness cannot be an heir of the person requesting MAID and cannot benefit from their death).
Once the form is completed and signed, your loved one will undergo an assessment performed by two physicians. For the request to be accepted, both physicians must confirm that your loved one is eligible for MAID.
Once the request is accepted, your loved one will meet a different physician whose responsibility is to ensure that they still wish to receive MAID. This physician will also verify that the person still meets the eligibility requirements.
At this point, the date and location of the procedure can be determined. Your loved one can then state the people they wish to have in attendance for the procedure and any rituals they wish to observe.
You can accompany your loved one during these preparations by offering them your support, a listening ear and your presence.
The decision to be present or not during the MAID procedure is entirely up to you.
There are three steps involved:
Throughout the procedure you will be able to sit beside your loved one, hold their hand, speak to them and touch them. You are free to step out of the room at any time.
You can stay in the room a few hours following their death. Upon leaving, you must bring your loved one’s personal belongings. The medical team will provide you with resources as you may require support of your own at this time. Don’t be afraid to ask a loved one to come and pick you up.
Un très gros merci à toute l’équipe! En particulier pour celles qui nous ont accompagnés toute la journée. Tout s’est déroulé à merveille grâce à leur aide. Les invités ont absolument adoré l’endroit. Ce fut une très belle journée dans les circonstances. Ma mère aurait été très contente de la cérémonie et de cette journée.
Félix Morency-Lavoie
Tout au long de notre accompagnement, votre délicatesse a été réconfortante et rassurante, et ce à partir de notre première rencontre jusqu’à la mise en terre de mon papa.
Chacun d’entre vous a contribué à tout mettre en œuvre pour nous faciliter la tâche à chacune des étapes. Je vous remercie d’avoir rendu possible cette belle journée de recueillement et de rassemblement malgré des conditions sanitaires précises à respecter. Soyez assurés que chaque attention a été remarquée et appréciée.
J’aimerais que vous transmettiez nos remerciements les plus sincères à toutes les personnes qui ont été impliquées, de près ou de loin, dans cet événement.
Patricia Savard
Je voulais vous remercier pour la belle cérémonie pour Esteban, tout était parfait, malgré le grand nombre de personnes.
Rodolfo Garcia
Je souhaite vous remercier de ma part et de toute ma famille pour nous avoir soutenu tout au long du processus. Depuis la crémation jusqu’au funérailles et malgré les petits pépins qu’on a rencontré. La cérémonie avec Mme Prénovost a été à la hauteur de nos attentes. Merci encore pour votre dévouement, nous l’avons tous apprécié.
Danielle Daoust
Merci beaucoup Monsieur Tittel, vos services nous enlèvent un poids sur nos épaules.
Manon Laroque